We have such fond memories of John, the nights out in Nottingham, always planning the best route back to the bus so that he could squeeze in one more pint, the city breaks and the BBQ’s I will always remember how you struggled to smoke a cigar on your stag weekend and whenever I see a brussel sprout or a pint of Stella in a straight glass I will think of him You laughed at all my old jokes especially the ones about getting married that I told you the night before you married Paula Anne really appreciated how friendly you were the first time she met you and Paula and fondly recalls your saying “SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN STAN” You will be so sadly missed John Rest in Peace Mr Lay From your friends Anne and Tony

My family are deeply saddened to hear of your passing. I remember you holding Luke as a newborn baby 22 years ago, and admitting he was the first baby he had held and looked so awkward! Even though we hadn't seen you for over a year. You were very much in our thoughts, RIP Love Tracy, John, Luke, Ben and Emily x A lovely man and you will be missed.

Well, Lay the senior I was born blessed with the gift off you. We have a bond that distance and time can not brake. I have you to thank for the freedom to be reckless and live life as an adventure. You was the only safety net I ever needed, always there should things go wrong. A brother who would take care of me, pick me up, dust me off and get me back on my feet. You did more for me than you ever knew. I’ll be talking to you over a beer, watching rugby or in bed at night like we use to all those years ago. I’ll hear your voice,I’ve got you forever. Much love for you Lay the senior. Lay the junior l

JB was many characters, the serious John, the fun John, the silly John, and the John “lets bob the last beer “John was a great friend and confidant. He loved so many things, but I remember fondly the loud music til silly o clock in the morning sitting on the floor with John conducting the sounds. Regularly after a night in the Cherry Tree we would then chat and play music down the phone to each other. On one occasion John was playing vinyl …making fairy cakes and a brussel sprout curry! I smile at the first time John joined me and my Mum for Christmas day, it was the first-time mum ran out of sprouts… John ate them all. He loved them!! John you were a great friend, and I will miss you, I will get you a Kronenbourg when we meet again!

We will always have our great memories of the nights out, BBQ's and the holidays. We had a good laugh together when we met up and John added to our word vocabulary with his unique sayings. We will miss Mr Lay. The Sandersons

Rod and Maddy in Carvel, Edmonton, Canada wanted me to let the family know that they were thinking of you and remembering you their prayers. They have fond memories of John and of our stay with them all those years ago.

Gosh. Where to start? At the beginning I guess, and that for me, was at Exeter Uni. John was thinking of leaving before he'd really even started. He seemed like a fish out of water; shy, sensitive, socially awkward and slightly overwhelmed with it all. But he was bright, creative, intense, gentle & funny, and people liked that. His circle of friends saw beyond the melancholy to the complicated character within. When we got together we were both in search of something, or perhaps trying to escape from something, and it helped having someone else along on that journey. Just two lost souls... At the end of the year he left and I stayed. There were weekend visits and his wonderful mix tapes and long, illustrated letters to look forward to. There were endless conversations using reverse charge calls between two phone boxes too, but long distance romances are never easy and it didn't last. A fateful works trip to a hotel in Leicester brought us back together. More trips up and down the A1 before John gave up everything and moved to Nottingham. How brave was that! We became grown ups together. I tried to teach him about DIY, endowment mortgages, romance and holding hands in public and he tried to educate me on nested if statements, parallel parking, the rules of American football and to appreciate the music of The Gang Of Four and Gil Scott-Heron. Not sure either of us was totally successful. There were happy times; holidays and house moves, new jobs and new friends. Those "10 years got behind us" as we grew up and slowly grew apart. We stayed friends after we divided up the CDs and went our separate ways. He was the perfect travel companion on our trip to Canada and he took some amazing photos over there, despite the interference of those damn red kayaks on Moraine Lake. We both settled down and married other people and I've never seen him happier than when he was with Paula. I'm glad he found that contentment at last, as I have with Mark. More recently the contact has been by Christmas card and birthday emails, but John was never forgotten and always loved. There was always the promise of that beer together sometime soon... Now I'm beyond sad he has gone, angry that he didn't say goodbye and sorry that we can't have that beer. And John, more than anything right now, I wish you were here. Kay xx Still IAO's number one fan

I have so many memories of John over the years; The spreadsheet he sent me so I could track the cost of my petrol; the great debate on the shape to cut the last patio slab or announcing to everyone that I was one day away from being 18 in his wedding speech, which meant the bar man wouldn’t serve me for the rest of the night. But my overwhelming memories of John, are his humble and kind nature and how happy he was around his family. Lots of love Stacey, Robert and Hattie.

My thoughts of John are as a gentle, kind man with a sense of humour. I remember him on my wedding day, practicing dancing with Paula while the cameras were being set up ready for our own dance. I still have the video. It was a pleasure to know you.

John My constant partner in crime during sixth form. We conquered A-Level Maths and Physics as a team! We shared a lot of time together during that period. Cricket, Badminton Team. Sainsbury’s, Cambridge Concerts and our band practices. You were a very welcome permanent fixture in my household. I know the times that we have met since we left Haverhill are not very many but I always knew that when we did meet we just carried on as normal (a mark of a true friendship in my view). I think of you often, and remember our school times with great affection. You were always supportive, kind and non-judgmental. The relatively recent re-union we had in The Cotswolds is a great memory for me. I guess I always thought we would meet up many more times and I am very sad that it is not to be. Andy Symonds

John, an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, but to those who knew him, a kind caring and considerate soul.. I will always remember our fiercely fought squash matches, our badminton battles.. Mostly I will remember you as one of my constant companions through our school and sixth form years. Although we lost touch in recent years you were never far from my thoughts. I guess I thought there would be more time to reconnect. My world is smaller without you, but was enriched so much by your presence in it, thank you! You will always be in my thoughts and in my heart!

Originally considered, humorously by Paula’s salsa friends, as a figment of her imagination, I particularly remember meeting John at my wedding. We talked about life, in general, badminton and, what I later found to be one of his passions, hi-fi and music, a subject on which he was extremely well informed. On the few occasions that we met he struck me as, something of a rarity in these modern times, a knowledgeable, brave and truly gentle man. He will always be remembered.

Missing you now and always.

John. I shall miss you in so many ways. I shall miss talking to you. I shall miss the daily inconsequential exchange of messages whether it be about books, music, jokes or just putting the world to rights. I shall miss meeting up, going for walks or just drinking beer. I am so proud of the man you became: good at your job, treading a line through the world that was humane and compassionate and being a good, steady and reliable husband, stepfather and “grumps”. We shall always talk. The part of you that is part of me will answer for you in my mind. Thank you for being in my life. My world will be smaller without you. Your loving Stepfather, Peter. X

Thank you for setting up this memorial to John. We hope that you find it a positive experience developing the site and that it becomes a place of comfort and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.

I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other that we still are. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was.